Posted by: Michelle Knoll | December 13, 2008

It’s over…. Sort of…

Well, as of two weeks ago, NaNoWriMo 2008 is a wrap.

This year was so different from last year.  I found writing my novel so much easier this time around.  I didn’t experience the same tension or frustration or anxiety… it was almost, um… calm.  I was still excited to be writing another novel, but it just wasn’t the same.  Was it not as much fun as my first year?  Yes, it was just as much fun, but in a different way.  In some ways, it was even more fun than last year!  But in some ways…. well, it was just different.

For one thing, I was involved in write-ins this year, which I did not participate in during my first NaNo experience.  And I must say, the write-ins made a big difference for me.  It was nice to know that I wasn’t facing the idea of writing alone.  I mean, the forums are great for finding ideas and for feeling “connected” in a sense, but there’s nothing better than having someone right where you are while you’re hammering out a thousand or two thousand words in an evening.  So the write-ins for me were a big plus this year, and I plan on participating in them again next year.

The direction I chose for this year’s novel was far different from anything else I’d ever done, too.  It was a much deeper experience for me, and much more personal than last year.  So if there was any intensity to this year’s work, it was on a more personal level.  Which was good, for me.  I’ve needed this sort of “self discovery” — this type of “journey” — for a long time.  I discovered a lot of things about myself along this ride, and I would have to say that’s been a very good thing.  I know that my life is different because of what I’ve experienced through the creation of this novel.

Well, like the title says, “it’s over… sort of.”  The NaNo experience is over, but the novel most definitely is not finished!  I still have two thirds of it to go, and I will be writing on this one until it’s done.  I’m not going to give up on this one.  Mainly because it is such a deep, spiritual journey for me, and one that I long to complete.  If I don’t complete the journey, I know that I will feel my life will be missing something.  Throughout the month of November, I constantly felt that God had directed me into this novel because He had very specific things He wanted to say to me, and I’ve been hearing Him loud and clear.  That’s not to say that I’ve always understood what He’s been saying.  Some things are still mysteries to me.  However, I know He’s been speaking, and I know I’ve been receiving important, valuable information from Him.  I heard a pastor say once, “some times things are caught, rather than taught” meaning, sometimes you receive things from God into your spirit rather than into your mind, and you just… get them.  Your life is impacted in ways that your mind cannot comprehend.  I don’t know if that makes sense to anyone who’s reading this post, but I just know it happens.  And throughout the writing I’ve been doing, I know that God has been speaking things into me, even though some of these things haven’t necessarily been processed by my mind.  Does that make sense?  If not, don’t worry about it.  It makes sense to me.

One of these days, I might publish an exerpt here.  After the novel has been completed.  But until that time, the novel will remain personal.  Behind the closed doors of the wall around my heart and soul, where the garden of my emotions dwells, which my Lord tends with His everlasting Love and Patience and Caring.

I will let you in on this little tidbit of my novel:  The Lord has been pursuing me, all of my life, to convince me of His unfailing Love for me, and I am beginning to realize this Love, and it is drawing me into His Presence in ways unimaginable…

… and I am coming Home.

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